Long Shot (a journal entry)

I can’t even remember how I came across it, even though it’s only been about a week ago. That’s how exciting this prospect is! I’m sure many people, lots of which are better than me, will apply for this position as well. I know this is a complete long shot. But as a writer, it would be such a cool experience, and I knew I would hate myself if I didn’t at least try. That way, the “what if” game would never have to be played. So, I looked at the application, and got to work.

*********

I’ll never be picked. My application wasn’t good enough.
They could pick me. My application was honest, yet funny.
Could I really do this if I were chosen?
If they chose me, I could totally do this!
I’m a horrible writer.
I’m a pretty good writer.

My thoughts go back and forth between self doubt and confidence. That’s true of any given day, but as a writer, it’s multiplied by a million when you’re “putting yourself out there.” So, I figured that if the back and forth happens anyway, why not take the chance? Put myself out there. Try for something different. If I try, something might happen, but if I don’t, nothing will happen.

I think I just found a new life mantra.

*********

I just submitted the application. Now I wait. Truly, I don’t expect to hear that I made the first round of cuts. Not really. But I’m still glad I put in a little bit of time and effort just to see what happens. If nothing else, I’m proud of myself for taking a shot—even if it is a long shot.

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