Dear Corner of the Bathroom Counter,
I’ve tried to hold my tongue, but I can’t any longer. I need to get this out in the open. I have suffered too many bruises because of you and I’m sick of it!
Okay, I’ll admit, I have my clumsy moments. Who doesn’t? But it can’t possibly be my fault every single time. You have to share some of the blame here.
You have no idea how much you hurt me. You try being hit right in the hip bone and see how you like it! Or are you one of those types who gets pleasure from pain? It wouldn’t surprise me if you were. You strike me as the bastard type.
Come to think of it, you do remind me of a few of my exes. And let me tell you, I’ve dated some real a-holes! Yep, you’re a lot like them. Cold, hard, and unforgiving.
I just can’t take it anymore! More importantly my hip bones can’t take it. We have to come to some kind of understanding. How about we just keep our distance from each other for a while? I’ll steer clear of you if you steer clear of me. Okay?