A Small Gesture

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I messed up. I know it. Now, I have to take responsibility for my actions. My first step is writing you this note. It’s just a small gesture, and I hope that by acknowledging the hurt I’ve caused, you will know I’m sincere.

I can never take back what I’ve done to you, but I will try my hardest to set things right. It may not be much comfort to you to know this, but I have to figure out how to live with what I’ve done. Please believe that is a much harsher punishment than any court could give me.

Plan Unknown

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Adam’s main objective on the drive to Jenna’s was to not spill their Starbucks. One of the first things he learned about her was that she was a bear without her morning coffee. It was hard enough to convince her to start this little adventure so early in the morning. And despite all her protests, that’s all he would tell her, that they were going on an adventure. He pulled up to her building right on time, and she was waiting outside as agreed.

Without saying a word, he kissed her on the cheek and handed her a cup. After her first sip, she smiled and said, “can you please tell me now what we’re doing up at this unholy hour?”

“Good morning to you too, and no,” he said, then laughed. “But I do have one more request.”

“Don’t push it.” She rolled her eyes. “And good morning.” The few sips of coffee were kicking in and she was starting to feel a little more human.

Adam reached in his back pocket and pulled out a handkerchief, a vintage one that was his grandmother’s. He held it out and said, “I need you to put this on, please. I don’t want you to know where we’re going just yet.”

Jenna looked at him in mock horror, mouth agape. “This just took a turn into Creepyville.” Adam stood there still with his hand out, and even though he didn’t say anything, she knew by the look on his face that he wasn’t going to give up. “Oh, alright!” She turned so that he could tie the blindfold on, and then he helped her into the car.

“Jenna McElroy, prepare for your Valentines Day Extravaganza!” he said, as he got in the driver’s seat. Before fastening his seat belt, he patted down the outside of his coat, making sure that their boarding passes and the small velvet box were tucked safely inside the interior pocket. Then he put the car in drive and set off down the road. He was so pleased with himself for planning something this special for Jenna.

Jenna laughed. “Great! I love extravaganzas!” Though this was somewhat over the top, it was sweet how much effort Adam had put into this plan, whatever it was. She could hear the happiness in his voice.

Adam reached for Jenna’s hand, excited that their lives were about to change forever.

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For my goal to write a story for all twelve months of the year, this is February’s. I hope to go with a common theme for each month!

A Bell Jingles

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I don’t know why, but the words are just flowing out of me today. Some days they come easier than other days, and when they do, I take full advantage. My nose is pointed down towards my notebook and my pen is furiously scratching across the pages. Yes, today I have eschewed technology and gone old school. Sometimes that little change is all it takes for me to get into a writing groove.

So, I’m surprised that when the bell above the door jingles, alerting employees and patrons of this fine coffeehouse that someone is entering, I actually stop what I’m doing and look up. I do not regret that decision. The most beautiful man I have ever seen has just walked through the door.

I swiftly put down my pen, grab my coffee, and absentmindedly start sipping. I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t help staring. Don’t get me wrong here. I would never today or any other day act on this. I am a mostly confident woman, but I’m happily married, so anything other than looking is a no-no. Besides, even if I weren’t, this gorgeous specimen is completely out of my league. I’m confident, yes, but not delusional.

This particular gentleman possesses the three qualities I find most attractive. Tall, dark hair, blue eyes. There you have it. My sexual kryptonite. I make no apologies for it and I do appreciate it when I see it. I watch, with a modicum of subtlety (I hope) as he waits his turn, orders his coffee, and then leaves.

These are the small, unexpected moments that I love. I do not know this person. I will never see him again. But for a few brief minutes, he brought a little joy into my life. With the mundane task of getting his morning coffee, he reminded me that there is beauty in the world, and that when a bell jingles on the coffeehouse door, perhaps I only need to look up to see it.

I smiled, put my coffee back down, and picked up my pen.

 

A Farewell Note

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I’m sorry that it’s come to this, but I truly believe it’s for the best. Not just for me, but for you as well. Whether we want to admit it or not, it’s become painfully obvious that we’re not meant to be together.

We are completely different kinds of people and we want different things. You made a great effort, and I appreciate it. I hope you think I did the same. But we can’t go on kidding ourselves. One of us needs to be braver enough to do the right thing, even though it’s difficult.

Go find your happiness.

Resolutions

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She never before bothered with New Year’s resolutions. Frankly, the notion had always struck her as silly, and rarely did they stick. Not to mention that resolutions meant that you had hope for a better year ahead. For too long, that hadn’t been the case for her. But this year things were different.

She spent January 1 moving into her new place. The actual moving in part didn’t take long, as her belongings were meager. That can happen when you make a hasty exit, at least in her case it did. But no matter. They’re just things and they can be replaced. So here she was, watching the sun set on the first day of a new year in a new living space, and for the first time she realized that there was hope. Not just for a better year, but for a better life. Maybe for the first time, her making some New Year’s resolutions wouldn’t be a silly waste of time. Sitting in her empty living room, sipping red wine straight from the bottle, a flattened pillow her only cushion from the hard wood floor, she made up her mind to do just that—make resolutions.

She put down the wine bottle and went to the kitchen counter for her purse. Luckily, there was a pen in there and a receipt from a convenience store where she stopped for gas and snacks only a few hours ago. It would have to do until she could get a proper notebook. On the back of the receipt, she wrote at the top, “Things To Do In The New Year.” Speaking of proper notebooks, that would be number one.

1) buy a fancy leather bound journal and write in it every day

2) find a job-one I can be proud of

3) paint walls a fun color

4) dye my hair red

5) buy books and actually read them

6) once settled in apartment, adopt a shelter dog

7) get a tattoo

8) learn conversational Italian

9) plan dream trip to Italy

10) meet new people

11) do at least one fun new activity each month

12) buy whole new wardrobe

13) pick out new name- this is of the utmost importance!!!

She underlined that last one three times and stopped writing because she ran out of room on the receipt. Satisfied with her list for now, she walked back to the sad little pillow on the floor. She grabbed the wine bottle and took a sip.

Since she didn’t have any other paper to write a new list, she made one out loud, letting it float around her empty new apartment. “Alyssa. Anna. Bailey. Becca. Catherine. Celina…”

 

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I have a goal to write a flash fiction piece for each month of 2017. This is January’s.

Coffeehouse Dilemma

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Doing a bit of writing at Starbucks this morning. I don’t know why, but I’m pretty productive at coffeehouses! There are two different submissions I want to work on…just need to decide on one…

Do Better

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I know I must do better. It’s so easy to say, but harder to execute. At least for me. I don’t really know why that is. In general, I’m not a lazy person. I have those moments, sure, but most of us do. I do know I get easily distracted. Whatever task is at hand, I always think of ten others that need my attention, and a lot of the time, one of those wins out.

So, this has been a huge problem for my writing as of late. This, and the fact that for the last half of 2016, I was battling health issues. Nothing life threatening, just inconvenient. Though I’m still dealing with the health issues, they are improving, so now I just need to figure out how to quiet my brain and put a focus back on my writing. I think for me, it will be baby steps until I get a handle on things.

My first step was to get back to this blog. It had been neglected, but it’s a good first step to take in starting up my writing routine. I aim to not only post writing samples, but other things writing related. Goals, submissions, journaling, writing gear, and yes, my struggles are all fair game. I feel better making a recommitment to my writing! That was the easy part, now I just need to nail the execution!

Miss Independent

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You no longer need help at bath time. You can pour your own drinks and get your own snacks. You want to fix your toys by yourself when they break. You have become my little Miss Independent.

I’m glad that you can (and want) to do things for yourself. But truthfully, it makes me a little sad. It means you’re getting older. It means you’re technically not my baby anymore. But really, you always will be, no matter what.

And therein lies my dilemma. My eyes see you getting older and more independent. But, my heart and my mind want it to stop! They want you to stay little as long as possible. That’s the thing about watching you grow. I have to let you go, little by little. I don’t want to. Not just yet.

So, I’ll keep offering to help dry your hair. To get you something from the kitchen if I’m going in there. Or to switch out the old batteries for new ones. And when you say, “no, I’ll do it myself,” I’ll try to smile.